Popping Fleas

I have a couple dogs and cats and, as they are prone to do, they get the occasional flea. I have a flea comb that does a great job of rooting out the tiny vermin. And I am, point of fact, an ace flea comber. Most times, I simply pull the dog hair and fleas from the comb after each passing, put the wad in the toilet, pee on it when I'm done, then flush the whole thing. Occasionally, though, I like to take an individual flea, particularly one that is obviously "with children," put it between my thumbnails, and "pop" it, sort of like it was some free-range, insect zit. If I get a really good one, a copious amount of blood and flea fetuses will explode across my nails. Aside from the sanitary issues (I wash my hands for about 17 minutes after doing this), I derive a great deal of pleasure from this little exercise in flea execution/torture. And, no, I'm not some sadist gets off on crushing living things. But fleas. Come on. They're fucking FLEAS! They cannot possibly have a legitimate purpose other than making one of my Pugs get itchy butt, making him squirm around in obvious discomfort and frustration because his fat little torso will not permit him to get his flat face anywhere close to his ass to chew the fleas like tapioca. So, fuck you, fleas. You suck. I hate you. And I enjoy popping you and aborting your flea babies.