I Just Want to Know if this Is Based on Fact

My not-so-secret crush, Evan Longoria, sporting a custome jersey that I can only hope bears some relation to his, uh, anatomy.

Counter-Intuitive Gym Music

OK, Tusk is not one of those albums I would consider 'gym' music. It doesn't really "rock" and every Lindsay Buckingham tune was written and/or recorded during some cocaine-induced psychosis or too much time in Central American exile with Andrew Luster. In any event, the title track has this great, slow build that compels you to lift ever increasing amounts until you destroy tendons or require an emergency spotter (the ultimate gym humiliation). And it's accomplished in large measure by Mick Fleetwood's utterly indifferent drum tattoo and the USC marching band. Not a recipe for benching 300 lbs., but oddly it works. Well, it would work if I could bench more than 185.

Other unlikely candidates include Aimee Mann's "Pavlov's Bell" and anything by the Doves.

A Trip Down Tobacco Road

So, I'm watching Monday Night Football and it's Colts v. Dolphins. I'm not a Dolphins fan, mind you. I'm actually more of a Colts fan because despite his misshapen head Peyton Manning is the fucking man! And Dallas Clark is H.O.T. Anyway, they're playing in Miami and Miami always reminds me of Nuclear Valdez. When I lived there I got to see them several times at clubs like Tobacco Road and The Stephen Talkhouse. Always a fantastic show and at the end they'd toss in some covers - everything from the Jackson 5 to Elvis Costello & the Attractions. If you know who they are, it's likely because of "Summer," a kickass song from 1989 about Life After Castro. Regardless of your politics, it's a great fucking song. The pic is the cover art of their second album, Dream Another Dream. Very polished and less heavy than the debut, but a great listen nonetheless. After taking most of the 90s off (the second album is from 1991), they returned in 2002 with In a Minute All Could Change, which sounds a lot more like their first record. All three albums are worth seeking out. So, in case you've never heard it, or haven't heard it in 20 years, here ya go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFCJ48r2coY&feature=PlayList&p=6FFAF5A28577543A&index=1

It's Always Good to Hear T. Rex

Hubby Jerry and I went to the Brewing Company for dinner tonight. We go there when we can. The food is consistently good and sometimes amazingly good. It has an actual chef who makes specials each weekend. He has an appetizer, two entrees, and a dessert. We got the appetizer tonight, which was chicken with razor-thin rosemary potatoes on soft bread. It sounded odd and like way too much starch, but it was really, really good. I got one of the entrees; jerk chicken with pan-seared dumplings. Good, but the jerk sauce was a little sweet. Hubby Jerry had the beer brats with mashed potatoes. He loves that.

In addition to the food, the BrewCo plays cool music. I'm sure it's just something they buy from a vendor (i.e., publishing company or other music industry whore), but it's pretty good. Right after we sat down they played the studio version of "I Want You to Want Me." Later on they played "Burnin' for You" (the original B.O.C., not the assed up remix being used by Lincoln right now to pimp the MKS) and "Jeepster" by T. Rex. I rarely hear T. Rex in public and if I do it's always "Bang a Gong (Get it On)." Don't get me wrong, "Bang a Gong" fucking ROCKS, but it's good to hear a different T. Rex in public.

Worship! Play! Play!

I went to the University of Miami, so I'm not some bandwagon-hopping douchebag. I'm a douchebag for so many other reasons having nothing to do with the University of Miami or any other institution of higher learning. And the complete fucking domination by The U over the Honeybees of Georgia Tech tonight is a sight to behold, even if the game is being played in the worst stadium ever vomited onto the landscape, like some partial-birth abortion performed by a bunch of blind double-amputees. The game feels like the scene from Inglourious Basterds where the Bear Jew bashes in a Nazi's dome with a baseball bat. Here's the song playing in my head as I take it all in (get well, Chi!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n56TRrS3eyY

An Ode to (Trailer) Park Life

I've attached a link to a YouTube "video" for the song "Trailer Park" by the band Bracket. I'm not sure what the Bracket boys are doing these days, but they made some fine music, if not a lot of it. I saw them once at some complete shit hole bar in Ft. Lauderdale on Federal Highway. I think we had to go up to the second floor. That's really not relevant, other than that having lived in a state where virtually everything is one story, having any business on the second floor seemed odd to me. In any event, here's the clip. It's just a static shot of the album cover (yes, it's a hot dog mounted on a radio controlled car) with the song playing underneath. I'm sure the label (Caroline) did not want to spring for a video. The album is called 4-Wheel Vibe (stupid title, I admit), but if you like the attached tune, you'll like the rest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McY84azVIyI

Hello There, Ladies and Gentlemen

I had a blog briefly about a year ago (I think) targeting gay people who like sports. I stopped for some reason I cannot now recall. In any event, I decided to start a new blog devoted to gay people whose taste in music runs generally toward "rock" or "rock and roll" in its common cultural understanding. The point is not to denigrate other types of music. I really like several music genres. I'm a big fan of hard bop and swing jazz. I have over the years come to appreciate a lot of country music, though I do not like most contemporary "country" artists like Kenny Chesney or Taylor Swift. Nor do I like urban soul and hip-hop. I appreciate the talent and skills it requires to make those kinds of music, they're just not my bag.

So, when I say "rock" music, I'm really referring to everything with the Beatles as one bookend and, say, Metallica as the other.

What's the point you might ask? Isn't it close to being bigoted to suggest (as I obviously am) that gay people, as a group, tend to favor a particular type of music that is not rock? Perhaps. Is it hypocritical for me to decry homophobia (which I will do) while arguably perpetuating a stereotype that gay people (or more accurately gay men) prefer dance music and show tunes? Probably. So, we have that out of the way. I'm a bigoted stereotyper who doesn't dance or sing along to Cats.

In my own defense, I do not care for the factionalization that seems to be an inevitable by-product of exclusion. And what I am doing is exclusionary by nature. But, I'm not here to give all music equal time. My goal is to be a little place on the 'net for gay people who have seen Rush in concert more times than they've watched Mommy Dearest. Period. And without further ado, I would like to dedicate my inaugural post to my favorite band in the whole wide world: Cheap Trick.

I cannot articulate precisely why Cheap Trick is my favorite band. They were not my first concert (that was Harry Chapin), nor were any of my older siblings (I am the baby of four) particularly enthusiastic Cheap Trick fans, though they are fans, especially my oldest brother. I don't even know when they became my favorite. It just kind of evolved. To me, there is something elegantly simple and basic about their music. It is unabashedly Beatlesque, but undeniably "American." It is relatively uncomplicated rock music, mostly about girls, girls, angst, girls, love, family, girls, rocking out, and girls. Cheap Trick do not do politics. They are not literary, though they are quite literate. They're not fussy or complex. They write songs with memorable melodies, big hooks, adhesive riffs, and smart, often funny and sardonic lyrics about the various stages of life, love, and relationships. And while Rick Nielsen is one of the great rock guitarists and songwriters, and while Tom Petersson and Bun E. Carlos are arguably among the five best rhythm sections ever, it is Robin Zander's voice that is, to me, what makes the music of Cheap Trick so captivating. He is everything a rock singer should be. It's just that simple.

As I write this I am listening to a sampling of Cheap Trick tunes on my beat-up laptop through this cool thing Hubby Jerry bought me called Turtle Beach. I can make the music rotate around my head and make it sound as if it's being played in a "bathroom" or an "arena" or other effects. I dig it.

I want to take this opportunity (assuming there is a reader) to pimp the new Cheap Trick album. Yeah, I still call things "albums" because I'm 42 and that's how I speak. It's called simply The Latest. It's produced by a guy named Julian Raymond, who produced Fastball's All the Pain Money Can Buy. Most people know the single, "The Way," which is a fantastic song. But the rest of the album is good-to-very good. Anyway, Raymond gives The Latest just enough polish, and keeps his mitts off anything "hip," letting the songs just unfold and be played. The result is timeless but cool. Like the suits from Reservoir Dogs. That's probably really unhelpful if you're trying to glean from my words what it actually sounds like. Trust me, it's a great batch of songs and the guys sound engaged and kind of, well, proud of themselves. It's a professional album, but not in the way Toto records were professional. More in the way Sonic Youth sounded on Goo.

When life grinds away at my will and I feel like shit or want to give up, I play Cheap Trick. Really, really fucking loud. Sometimes I play the same song over and over like an eight year-old. And without fail, I feel much better afterward. That's why I love Cheap Trick.